Farrah Fawcett who died after a 4-year long battle with cancer. I feel sorry that her death will inevitably be overshadowed by that of the King of Pop. A gorgeous, classic woman, thoughts and prayers are with her family and that she may finally be at peace and no longer enduring any suffering.
and of course the King of Pop, Michael Jackson. There are truly no words for the legacy which you have left behind. Thoughts and prayers are with your family, friends, and the entire industry which you basically created.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Have you read this yet?
My "dating" blog
Hilarious, now looking back on it. Sad when I was writing it. Does anyone know how I could morph my two blogs into one?
Hilarious, now looking back on it. Sad when I was writing it. Does anyone know how I could morph my two blogs into one?
My blog needs
...a facelift! And more updates!
Any thoughts on where I can get a cute layout for this bag girl?
Updates will come later. But I'll leave you with a few teasers:
-I may or may not have gotten a tattoo (when, where, how, why?!)
-I may or may not have a best guy friend who's too close for comfort
-I may or may not have had interest in a guy who (again) is all wrong for me
And oh so much more in the double life of Blake :)
Stay tuned
Any thoughts on where I can get a cute layout for this bag girl?
Updates will come later. But I'll leave you with a few teasers:
-I may or may not have gotten a tattoo (when, where, how, why?!)
-I may or may not have a best guy friend who's too close for comfort
-I may or may not have had interest in a guy who (again) is all wrong for me
And oh so much more in the double life of Blake :)
Stay tuned
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Prescription Nation
It's been a month since I've updated on BDL. I apologize for the absence but maybe this entry will help to explain why I've been MIA. Aside from the usual BS going on in my personal life, I've been under an immense amount of stress at work. Disclaimer: This entry is not meant to offend people, nor to provoke a reaction. I'm hoping that it will reach a few people's whose life I can help change, for the better.
When I hired Susan*, I loved her demeanor. She was a smiling, bubbly, 24-year-old college graduate with a pleasant attitude. I never thought in a million years that she would be one of millions of Americans who sell and abuse prescription drugs.
It wasn't long before Sue started showing her true self, however. She would come in with full-fledge mood swings, and question my authority as well as my intelligence. Soon, she was driving wedges between myself and even my closest of co-workers. What happened here? The complaints came from another worker of mine who once had substance abuse problems. She came to me and admitted to me that she's witnessed Sue sell various prescription drugs out in the parking lot. Then she witnessed Sue taking the same drugs which she was selling. Needless to say, the work place has been tense. I spoke to the owner about what's going on when she's not here. Because Susan is so good with sales, and so good with customer service, it's difficult to believe that she is, what she is. I'm a firm believer that your life outside of work and life inside of work are two seperate lives, and SHOULD be seperate lives. But when what you do outside of work begins to have an effect on the business which I have loyally served for three years, you better believe I'm not happy about it.
That doesn't even begin to cover half of what I know. I don't want to expose too much, because I don't truly know her motives. Someone who I once thought was a fine person showed me a side of her I never expected. It's a shame but it is, what it is. I try to keep my distance from her. If I had the opportunity to fire her, I would. But alas, my boss' reluctance to let her go leaves me empty-handed for a solution.
I don't know what it's like outside of the tri-state. I know people in NY, NJ, CT, PA, ect. all have the same problem. Tons of well-off kids getting high or getting low on prescription pills and alcohol. I'm no angel and I don't pretend to be. But I can tell you one thing: I've never taken something that would ever threaten my future.
The most popular pill right now it called a "Roxy" or a "Blue"...I believe they're oxycodones, aka a narcotic. I've been told that they are similar to a heroin pill- but more addictive than heroin itself. One of my clients told me that he had gone through medical detox in his 40's (he's married and has two children, imagine the shame that put him through) and that they were so addictive they "made a p*ssy of him." And yes, in case you were wondering-that's a verbatim quote.
Now riddle me this: I live in one of the most affluent counties in New Jersey- the most densely populated state in the US. If I lived in the inner city- I would expect this. I would expect people to sell drugs, buy drugs, and do drugs. But here, in a place where we are so lucky to have the best of what money can afford- why are people SO willing to throw their lives away for nothing special?
One of my highschool heartthrobs- got locked up for possession.
One kid I knew from high school- Dead. At the age of 18. Overdose.
One girl I cheered with- now addicted to coke.
Another girl I cheered with- now addicted to heroin (because she can't afford roxies at $20-$40 a pill).
At least 3 kids I knew from middle school- Dead. Drunk driving.
My parents brought me here for a better life. So I wouldn't end up amongst people who are exactly like the people that I can't seem to get away from. My parents hated the idea of going on welfare just because you could in Canada- these kids go on welfare to help support their drug addiction. Some kids steal from their own families, their friends. Some abuse the medicare and medicaid system so they can get their pills for cheap, and sell them for more.
These kids are stealing from the nation, only to be buried a few years later. Accidental overdose, drunk driving, suicide, unknown causes of death. When will the government regulate? When will they stop giving kids pills that can kill them? When will they finally crack down on the drug dealers who sell these pills?
More importantly what about me. What about my mother, my father, my sister? Those of us who are struggling to make it here, who have never done a single crooked thing like this in our life? If anyone needs to be medicated- it's me. If anyone should've given up by now, it's me. But I'm still here, I'm still standing, and I'm as clean as I'll ever be. Sure, I've done some things I'm not proud of, met some people I never should've met, who hasn't. But I've never done something that I didn't HAVE to do- and I'll pay my debt back to society the second the American government gives me the opportunity.
When I hired Susan*, I loved her demeanor. She was a smiling, bubbly, 24-year-old college graduate with a pleasant attitude. I never thought in a million years that she would be one of millions of Americans who sell and abuse prescription drugs.
It wasn't long before Sue started showing her true self, however. She would come in with full-fledge mood swings, and question my authority as well as my intelligence. Soon, she was driving wedges between myself and even my closest of co-workers. What happened here? The complaints came from another worker of mine who once had substance abuse problems. She came to me and admitted to me that she's witnessed Sue sell various prescription drugs out in the parking lot. Then she witnessed Sue taking the same drugs which she was selling. Needless to say, the work place has been tense. I spoke to the owner about what's going on when she's not here. Because Susan is so good with sales, and so good with customer service, it's difficult to believe that she is, what she is. I'm a firm believer that your life outside of work and life inside of work are two seperate lives, and SHOULD be seperate lives. But when what you do outside of work begins to have an effect on the business which I have loyally served for three years, you better believe I'm not happy about it.
That doesn't even begin to cover half of what I know. I don't want to expose too much, because I don't truly know her motives. Someone who I once thought was a fine person showed me a side of her I never expected. It's a shame but it is, what it is. I try to keep my distance from her. If I had the opportunity to fire her, I would. But alas, my boss' reluctance to let her go leaves me empty-handed for a solution.
I don't know what it's like outside of the tri-state. I know people in NY, NJ, CT, PA, ect. all have the same problem. Tons of well-off kids getting high or getting low on prescription pills and alcohol. I'm no angel and I don't pretend to be. But I can tell you one thing: I've never taken something that would ever threaten my future.
The most popular pill right now it called a "Roxy" or a "Blue"...I believe they're oxycodones, aka a narcotic. I've been told that they are similar to a heroin pill- but more addictive than heroin itself. One of my clients told me that he had gone through medical detox in his 40's (he's married and has two children, imagine the shame that put him through) and that they were so addictive they "made a p*ssy of him." And yes, in case you were wondering-that's a verbatim quote.
Now riddle me this: I live in one of the most affluent counties in New Jersey- the most densely populated state in the US. If I lived in the inner city- I would expect this. I would expect people to sell drugs, buy drugs, and do drugs. But here, in a place where we are so lucky to have the best of what money can afford- why are people SO willing to throw their lives away for nothing special?
One of my highschool heartthrobs- got locked up for possession.
One kid I knew from high school- Dead. At the age of 18. Overdose.
One girl I cheered with- now addicted to coke.
Another girl I cheered with- now addicted to heroin (because she can't afford roxies at $20-$40 a pill).
At least 3 kids I knew from middle school- Dead. Drunk driving.
My parents brought me here for a better life. So I wouldn't end up amongst people who are exactly like the people that I can't seem to get away from. My parents hated the idea of going on welfare just because you could in Canada- these kids go on welfare to help support their drug addiction. Some kids steal from their own families, their friends. Some abuse the medicare and medicaid system so they can get their pills for cheap, and sell them for more.
These kids are stealing from the nation, only to be buried a few years later. Accidental overdose, drunk driving, suicide, unknown causes of death. When will the government regulate? When will they stop giving kids pills that can kill them? When will they finally crack down on the drug dealers who sell these pills?
More importantly what about me. What about my mother, my father, my sister? Those of us who are struggling to make it here, who have never done a single crooked thing like this in our life? If anyone needs to be medicated- it's me. If anyone should've given up by now, it's me. But I'm still here, I'm still standing, and I'm as clean as I'll ever be. Sure, I've done some things I'm not proud of, met some people I never should've met, who hasn't. But I've never done something that I didn't HAVE to do- and I'll pay my debt back to society the second the American government gives me the opportunity.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
ACCEPTED!
After a horrible day at work and life I arrived home to find an enormous envelope from FIT, manhattan :)
I've been accepted to their bachelors program for advertising and communications!!!
Rejoice! God is good, I could cry I'm so happy and grateful and proud.
Hallelujah!
Xoxo
Laurence
I've been accepted to their bachelors program for advertising and communications!!!
Rejoice! God is good, I could cry I'm so happy and grateful and proud.
Hallelujah!
Xoxo
Laurence
Perception.
Do you ever feel as though you are tethering on the edge of what is real and what is not? Perception is reality, I believe---to a certain extent. Is the way you perceive yourself truly the true version which you project to the outside world, or just something you feel on the inside?
If perception truly is reality, and we do project to the outside world what we feel within...I'm fucked.
If perception truly is reality, and we do project to the outside world what we feel within...I'm fucked.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Also brought to my attention
Sure enough there is no rest for the weary--- I can't sleep once again. Plagued by anxiety I am blogging to you good people via iPhone. Nothing good can come from a lack of sleep, I assure thee.
Today. I was engulfed in one of my tanning industry mags and getting quite annoyed when my coworker kept interrupting my reading. When I told her this (basically telling her to shut her yap) she looked at me puzzled and said ""I don't understand, I thought you were going to school for fashion..."
She was right. And I was (for once) speechless. I tried to rationalize why I invest so much of myself into a business where my boss pays me the same $9/hr that she pays my new hires who do a fraction of what I do. I couldn't. All I could come up with was that some day I hoped to be a jack of all trades and I was trying to get my experiences worth, I suppose.
The scary part is she's totally right- I can't do it all at once. I can't have it all at the same time. I SHOULD spend more time with my nose buried in WWD rather than island sun times magazine. I SHOULDNT already have a pronounced frown line (yes, I do and I'll take a picture to prove it.) and I certainly shouldn't be considering Botox at the tender age of 20.
Yes, I'm responsible. Yes, I'm great at what I do. So what, big deal. I picked up a salon that my boss no longer cares for. I make the rules, she makes the money. It won't always be that way and though I secretly resent her I know because of her bad example, I'll be a better business owner someday.
But what about my other dreams? What about wanting to write for magazines, wanting to travel, to learn languages, to rub elbows with the pretty, rich, famous, and fabulous? What about dreams of having my own lines of evening wear, dreams of having a family, dreams that are so much bigger than being a tanning salon owner. Dream which appeal so much more to me! How do you prioritize? How are you ever supposed to be certain? How do some people just know? And more importantly... What if one life time just isn't enough?
Max Lucado, an author who I truly appreciate from a Christian POV wrote: "In a desire to be great, one might stop being any good." I know myself well enough to say that I'm the overachiever he's referring to- I'm the person who tries too hard and does more harm than good.
At this rate the only thing I can pray for is Gods unfailing guidance.
Today. I was engulfed in one of my tanning industry mags and getting quite annoyed when my coworker kept interrupting my reading. When I told her this (basically telling her to shut her yap) she looked at me puzzled and said ""I don't understand, I thought you were going to school for fashion..."
She was right. And I was (for once) speechless. I tried to rationalize why I invest so much of myself into a business where my boss pays me the same $9/hr that she pays my new hires who do a fraction of what I do. I couldn't. All I could come up with was that some day I hoped to be a jack of all trades and I was trying to get my experiences worth, I suppose.
The scary part is she's totally right- I can't do it all at once. I can't have it all at the same time. I SHOULD spend more time with my nose buried in WWD rather than island sun times magazine. I SHOULDNT already have a pronounced frown line (yes, I do and I'll take a picture to prove it.) and I certainly shouldn't be considering Botox at the tender age of 20.
Yes, I'm responsible. Yes, I'm great at what I do. So what, big deal. I picked up a salon that my boss no longer cares for. I make the rules, she makes the money. It won't always be that way and though I secretly resent her I know because of her bad example, I'll be a better business owner someday.
But what about my other dreams? What about wanting to write for magazines, wanting to travel, to learn languages, to rub elbows with the pretty, rich, famous, and fabulous? What about dreams of having my own lines of evening wear, dreams of having a family, dreams that are so much bigger than being a tanning salon owner. Dream which appeal so much more to me! How do you prioritize? How are you ever supposed to be certain? How do some people just know? And more importantly... What if one life time just isn't enough?
Max Lucado, an author who I truly appreciate from a Christian POV wrote: "In a desire to be great, one might stop being any good." I know myself well enough to say that I'm the overachiever he's referring to- I'm the person who tries too hard and does more harm than good.
At this rate the only thing I can pray for is Gods unfailing guidance.
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