Saturday, February 28, 2009

About A Girl: LBM

I'd love to tell you what the L and M stand for in my initials but for the sake of anonimity, I'm going to remain mysterious... Somewhat, anyway. People are so sneaky these days I bet you could find out who I really am, if you really wanted to.

So who is "Blake" anyway? 

-I was born on August 10th, 1988 (which means I'm presently 20) in a small suburb outside of Montreal, Canada.
-I spoke only French until my family moved to NJ (<3)>
-I am a Jersey Girl to the most extreme meaning of the term. 
-It's difficult for me to fathom that I'm not American, because I have lived here for the majority of my life.
-I'm in my third year at a community college out here: my major is Fashion Merchandising. I'm very proud of my schooling because I've always worked really hard. My family takes a lot of pride in being educated.
-I will be the second kid to graduate college in my family, and I'm the youngest (for some by a long shot!) My sister was the first. None of our cousins even attended college, I wonder if they even graduated high school.
-I work full-time managing a tanning salon. I don't get paid nearly enough, and it's a stressful job. I love it. I love the clients, the people I work with, and the chaos of it all. I thrive in that environment and I love working in sales. But I don't want to be in retail indefinitely.
-I put myself through school. No loans. No financial aid (immigrants don't get that), no grants, no scholarships (immigrants like me don't get that), NOTHING. Just me, my job, my bank account. One credit card, never used for a school payment.
-I have a wonderful family who has sacrificed a lot for me since the day I arrived. My parents could easily be living in the G.N. (Great North aka Canada) and be getting back on their feet. My sister could've decided to be a b*tch and screw me every chance she got, for no reason. She didn't. My sister is my best friend, and somedays I still ponder how the heck that happened.
-Apparently, my family's never really had money. This was news to me. I never knew I went without as a kid. 
-I grew up in an upper middle-class neighborhood in one of the richest counties in NJ. My daddy worked long hours, and travelled A LOT for work. My momma became a house wife when we moved here, and soon followed her dream of becoming a painter. I was a cheerleader for 8 years (count the trophies), competed in beauty pageants, did gymnastics, ran track, did everything a normal American kid would do.
-I am currently out-of-status. It's different than being an illegal immigrant, because I've NEVER entered this country illegally. I speak English fluently (in case there was any doubt...), and I function as one with the American culture. I love this country. I love my friends, and the place where I call home. Right now my family is going through a lot and we may have no choice but to leave. Even if we don't- what am I going to do? Stay out of status until I find some poor sucker to marry me?! I can't live like this indefinitely.
-I want to become an advocate for the DREAM ACT, and for other young immigrants such as myself and my sister who struggle everyday to become something greater than what they woke up as. If you happen to follow my sister's blog at all, you'll see that something like this would be the ONLY thing that could save us right now. 

There's a lot more to me than just that, but I guess you'll have to read more to find out...

Life According to Blake

Ah, welcome to the mind of my alter-ego/stalkerazzi cover-up, Blake. Blake is the girl who I always wanted to be: cool, calm, collected, and just overall fabulous. The real me isn't all that bad, but I guess it would surprise a few people who don't know me so well.

To be honest, sometimes I feel like I'm living a lie: I've always been thought to 'grin and bear it' or 'fake it till you make it' and to be honest, I can't tell the difference between making it or faking it anymore. Who knows, maybe I'm making it and I don't even know. Maybe my parents were on to something after all.

If you've read my other blog at all, you'll know that I poke LOTS of (sarcastic) fun at my love life. Heck, I poke lots of fun at my life in general- mostly because it gets to be too much sometimes. Humor is my defense mechanism. Awkward moment? Use humor. Feeling down? Use humor. Family's about to lose everything they ever had (hello reality!)? Use humor. 

Now the most ironic thing of it all is that I'm probably one of the LEAST funny people you could ever meet. I have the strangest sense of humor, but I mean you can only work with what you're given. 

I made this blog seperate from The Adventures of Little Miss Single beause I want to be a little bit more serious. If I keep humoring my problems, it's not going to make them go away. I've had my head stuck in the sand for a really long time, and as a wise young woman once told me- "it's time to grow up."

So here's to sucking it up, growing up, and hoping I don't screw it up along the way.