Sunday, December 20, 2009

Families Who Hate You

Call me naive, dumb, or just plain pompous...I thought the whole "dating-your-best-friend" thing was supposed to be easy! For starters, we have an awkward history to say the least (ask us how we met, I dare you!) and we're pretty to ourselves. Don't want no trouble, don't want no bother. But uh, just how quiet can someone be?

Depends who you're asking but if you're his sister or mother you might just be mute. So far, his 2 year old nephew has made the most headway in the communications department, while the 26-year-old sister is on a steady decline. I've never in my life, met people who come off to be so pretentious! Look, I get it. He's you're only son, and your youngest child. He's your baby brother. I'm the youngest too, of my entire family...I GET IT. But dang, cut a girl a break.

I've never met a mother who didn't want or trust me to be her new best friend/daughter-in-law. I've never met a father who didn't flirt with me (one DID take it too far by grabbing my ass once though)... I've had a few friendly rivalries in the older sister department before, but typically it's because I'm cuter and smarter than them.

My boo's family? Not only is rude to me but I might as well just not even exist. Actually they treat him that way, too. The funny part is that years ago, when I was his girlfriends best friend, his mother was nice enough. These days, she can't even complement my boots directly, she has her son tell me that she's admiring my leopard-print rain boots (of course, I would own those!) His sister? Here's how our last conversation went:

Me- Hi
Her- *blank state, silence* followed by her walking away.

Overall, I'd say that went well...Wouldn't you?

HELPPPP. Apparently they hate everyone. How do I go about making myself the exception to this disaster?!


Thursday, December 17, 2009

Have You Seen This: Adorable Video!

Hi-oh bloggy peeps!
So I'm at work (working hard, or hardly working?) and I stumbled upon MSN's top videos of 2009. Sure, we all saw the kid who got his teeth removed "Is this real life?!" and the late "surprised kitten". Cute, cute, real cute. But this one tops them all!

Granted, I have not attended very many weddings in my life (I can count on both hands and for someone who comes from my size of a family thats not a lot). BUT I can honestly say I've never seen anything quite like this:

I'm sorry to be so cheesy but this video made my day! Seriously, how cute is this couple to start off their life together like this? Not for nothing, but a couple with this much positive energy surrounding them is obviously not only totally crazy for one another but they definitely seem like they'll be in love for years to come!

I just had to share!


Monday, December 7, 2009

In Transit: An Insomniac in the Making

Good morning, fellow bloggers. From where I am writing, it is 3:32am...Approximately 3 hours and 32 minutes later than the time at which I had hoped to fall asleep. My alarm clock is set for 8am tomorrow----there is NO avoiding that. I will have to rise and shine to join to world, sleep deprived or not.

So tonight, in an effort to drain myself significantly, I will inform you of my non-boyfriend. Please do not mistake my using this as an opportunity to "drain myself" as a metaphor for the non-relationship...That's not what I mean. Though, its past 3am at this point, who even KNOWS what I might mean!?

I met one of my very good guy friends a few years ago, for the first time at one of my beauty pageants. I couldn't have been older than 19 at most, which means he was 20. At the time, I was dating my ex (who I believe turned out to be gay-more on that later) and he was dating my ex best friend (who now lives with the gay ex in California). Did I lose you yet? Ok, good. So, in June 2007, I broke up with my gay ex (who I didn't know was gay at the time???) and stopped being friends with the girl, because well she basically chose the wrong side of the coin. She started spending all her time with my ex, even though she was still dating my friend, and sooner rather than later they also broke up.

Once everyone was done breaking hearts, it seemed naturally spiteful that the two of us exes would also band together and retaliate against their blatant display of disrespect towards us. But what started out as a stupid immature crusade for an equally blatant display of disrespect towards our exes, developed into one of the most mature, forgiving, and accepting friendships I could have ever hoped for.

I have seen this boy in his worst moments (ex: puking up bile, heart broken by his many exes) as much as he's seen just how two-dimensional I am (ex: side one-exhausted slob, side two-beauty queen). I can honestly say that he is one of the few people who knows me best. For the last nearly 3 years, we have built on our friendship...Not always a constant in each other's lives, but still always there for one another. Last year, when my father was away, it was him who helped me get to class (on his lunch break), or who would check in with me. When his ex broke up with him last year on Valentine's day, I was the one who I substituted for her that night, and we enjoyed an amazing night together.

I think I knew it then, but I was too petrified to act. What would people think? What if I ruined our friendship? Or worse and even more humiliating- what if he didn't feel the same? Nearly a year later now, have things progressed from friend-zone to the this-is-so-not-what-friends-do zone.

In a way, we've always belonged to each other. I have vowed many of times to hurt anyone who ever hurts him. Now I would rather hurt myself than ever see him hurting. I had proof of this the other night when we had the "what are we" conversation for the second time. My only gripe with my man is that he will not commit given the circumstances. He's scared (understandably so) because of my relocating for college. He's also been nothing but supportive about the entire situation and wants nothing but my happiness. I know he doesn't want me to go, and if I didn't know I would resent myself and him in the long run for not going, I'd put it off too.

But I could see it in his eyes the other night when we were talking about what we would do, in the near future, given that our feelings for each other are clearly not temporary...It hurt me to watch him hurt like that. It hurts me that he doesn't believe in this the way that I do, or that he's too bent out of shape to even try. Every time his heart was broken, I was there to pick up the pieces. I understand that it's a scary transition to make. But calling me your girlfriend, isn't going to make it hurt any more when I leave...The pain will be the same, no matter what it is he chooses to call me. In fact, I would think it would hurt even more, if he chose not to label this, and I was free to walk away from him at any given time- no explanation required. I would never, but technically, I could.

So what does one do, what does one do?

I'm hanging on with all I've got.

Friday, December 4, 2009

In Transit: Wasted

So if you follow my sister Roxane's blog at all (I believe most of you do, and if you don't you should---she's infinitely funnier than I am) you know that we are extremely supseptible to alcoholism in this family. We like our wine classy (read: boxed), and our liquor strong (girl bartenders make weak drinks). So after having given up sex for the last 14, nearly 15 months I've decided I'm going to give being sober a fighting chance.

Why?! Why at the hardest point in my life, would I choose to stop doing the one thing that takes off the edge of the everyday stress of two jobs, a failing love life, and my insane family. Why put myself through that? Because I'm sick of avoiding it. Because I don't want to come home to my box of wine because "I've had a rough day anymore". And quite frankly, because I'm getting fat and this crap-ola is getting expensive! I don't want to drink because I'm sad, mad, upset, or stressed which recently, is all I know how to feel. And the most important reason? I don't want to get into the dark, dismal pattern of drinking alone. Unless I find a way to schedule my classes in a fashion that I can commute, the reality is that I'm going to be living by myself. I don't want to be drinking by myself- because happy, sad, stressed, or just bored- that's called alcoholism.

So I'm putting down the drink. I'm staying abstinent (from sex and drinking) for now. And I feel better about myself than I have in a long time, despite my life being a mess. I'm realizing that (as egocentric as this may sound) It's not me---it's "them". I'm not the one causing all the b/s in my life- its school, its him, its work its my crazy mom. The only mess I've created on my own lately is my bedroom, which is suffering from the "Plague of Clean Clothes Not Yet Put Away".

I'm taking control of my life, whether "they" like it or not.
I'm going to do something great...Sober AND abstinent. And I'm going to prove that a good girl gone bad, is NOT in fact, gone forever.