Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Trip time!

So in 11.5 hours I will (hopefully) be awaiting takeoff. I'm off to Vegas for 5 days, and I absolutely cannot wait!!! I'm so excited I finally get to take a vacation from the norm and enjoy some serious 100 degree weather,shopping, dining, and who could forget... Partying!!!

Btw if you have any tips for getting into Vegas clubs when ur underaged let me know!

Anyway so it seems apropo that I would blog about my fear and anxiety about flying. First things first, I have terrible and unrational fears of being interogated by airport security because I'm not American. I've done my research and I know my rights- you do not need a visa if you're just visiting from Canada, and you can fly with your passport as your only ID. Still nerve wracking.

Next, is my fear of the flight going terribly wrong. I know the odds are in my favor but let me just get this off my chest: God forbid something happen to me on the flight or on vacation- take good care of my stuff! Don't bury me, spread my ashes, and drink an LIT or 2 at my "going away" party aka funeral. Take all my journals and make my life story of it, publish me and make your millions. Mom dad & roxane- you are my life and the reason that I breathe, and that remains true no matter what happens to me. My friends too, you are my world, I can't imagine loving anyone more than all of you people put together!

Okay, now that this has taken a morbid turn, let's focus on the sun, heat, and good times to come! I will do my best to update from the west coast! Enjoy your week!


Friday, July 17, 2009

A Whole New Level of Douchebagery

Oh Jon Gosselin- people like you are the reason that reality TV should'nt exist. Did anyone else hear about this? Supposedely this toolbox is going to help design a line of children's clothing. Lord help us. He ditched his 8 kids to go meet up in France with Christian Audigier in France...With his 22 year old girlfriend, of course.

I used to feel bad for him when I watched Jon & Kate + 8. Eight kids, a (seemingly) obnoxious Kate who never leaves him alone- I wasn't suprised to see that they split. Aside from the fact that she seems to be the beign of his existence, we all know - TV can do that to people. I figured she'd be the one to let the fame get to her. But now Mr. Orange Asian Tan is getting his Christian Audigier on?! Is he even qualified for this? STOP RIGHT THERE: looks like Ed Hardy isn't too pleased with the rumors, and there's no children's line after all.

I think we'll all sleep easier tonight without the image of Jon & Kate's eight, Ed Hardy-clad kids, chasing us into the oblivion of tattoo-inspired fashions.

What wont be lulling us to sleep is the constant nagging---No, not Kate's. I'm talking about the little voice in the back of your head that tells you it could happen to you. One marriage, eight kids, and a couple sessons on TV was all it took to break them up. It makes you wonder what kind of society we live in where a father regresses to his 20's and runs off to France for the weekend, instead of stepping up and doing his part...


Thursday, July 16, 2009

In a funk

It's 2:00am and I can't sleep. Once again, no good can come from this...

I'm really not myself lately. When I laugh, it's a cold, strange laugh. When I smile, it doesn't quite reach my eyes. When I talk, I don't recognize my own voice. I'm not me. I'm not laid-back, cool, calm, or collected. I'm hot-tempered, impatient, and stressed out. I need to chill--- but I just can't.

There so much going on. Were relocating to our new house--- REALLY soon. It helps to know that were all happy with the decision. More space, less money- that's a no brained for anyone, especially these days! But I'm exhausted. The idea of packing alone is enough to keep me hitting the snooze button so that I don't have to wake up and face the day.

Add that to work. Working at the spa location isn't what I thought it'd be. It's exhausting, and they need so much coverage since the other front desk girl left that I feel suffocated.

Physicaly, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally I'm in a very odd place. I threw (and broke) my sisters hair brush after an argument with my mother. That's so not me! I haven't worked out in what feels like forever. That's so not me. I found myself crying hysterically and laughing all at the same time the other day. What was THAT all about?!

I'm legitimately beginning to feel as if I'm losing my mind. I'm all over the place, and as cliché as it sounds... Sometimes even when I'm in a room full of people, I still feel so alone. Like no one could understand, even if they tried. And the few people who do get it are the ones who I don't want to burden with my troubles.

I'm tired, so tired. I'm leaving for vacation in 4 days and I'm just so ready to go (aside from the packing thing). I need some time to clear my head, to reconnect with myself, before I truly do lose it.

I just wish I knew I wasn't alone..