Blake Goes Shopping

So as you may or may not know, I am a fashion major. Logic dictates that I would be a label-loving, shopaholic. The latter is true, the former is not. I buy clothes wherever I like them- sometimes that even means flea markets!

This past weekend I went to Nordstroms, Forever 21, and Burlington Coat Factory. The discounts were ridiculous. Truth be told the last thing I need is clothes, shoes, or anything else that falls under the category of apparel. But I'm addicted, and it's better than smoking!

The thing about being a shopaholic is you have to be smart about it. Only use your credit card if you ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO. Ask for giftcards for your birthday, and only use cash. Shop late spring for next winter's wardrobe. Shop early fall for next summer's wardrobe. Get it? And don't start about the "trends changing" trends are typically the same. Buy basics. Don't go crazy.

Here's what I bargained shopped for:

Hope everyone enjoys the weekend!

I will be in Atlantic City at Harrah's Pool and in Philadelphia with Roxane. This is going to be my last big (anticipated) weekend of the summer!

xoxo
Pictures to be posted next week
<3
Blake

Mama Kat's Workshop Wednesday

If these walls could talk...

I could tell you about my walls at work, but for $9.50/hour I am going to refrain. Instead, we'll pretend that I'm in the comfort of my own home. If our (new, freshly painted) walls could talk, these are the tales they'd tell:

In our sunroom, you'd see all the paraphenelia of two artists just trying to make it in this crazy world. Mom's paintings and dad's photographs tell the story of two immigrants who came here not because they had to, but because they wanted to. They wanted to be by the ocean, wanted a better life for their girls, wanted a place to feel at home. So they settled in New Jersey. You'd be surrounded by American flags and fond memories of days spent on the beach, when Dad used to work nights to spend the day with his girls.

In our kitchen, our walls would tell you that we can't sit through one family dinner without a squabble. Two (now adult) daughters, one crazy mom, and a dad who still is hardly ever there, doesn't make for conversation- it makes for controversy. The truth is, I don't think any one of us really agrees with another's lifestyle. Roxane and I think mom drinks too much & needs to get out more often, dad works too much & lets mom walk all over him. Mom thinks I'm a party queen and irresponsible, and who even knows what dad is thinking these days. Our walls would also tell you how it really went down the night of my 21st birthday . They would tell you that I eat my emotions, and that my mother hates me because she thinks I'm fat (even Roxane will vouch and tell you that's a fact).

Our bathroom walls would tell you stories about Roxane and I stumbling into our home after a long night, and finding things that even at our age, are scarring us for life. Think along the lines of parents, and nudity...And not the kind you typically encounter in the bathroom. *Shudder*

Our living room walls would tell you about my long conversations with UK... All the times I plugged in my earphones so we could chat about nothing and everything at all. It would tell you about my failed attempts at Sportskool yoga & fitness videos (and it would probably laugh). They would tell you about my two evil aunts (mom's sisters) who call every day and try to get my mother to move back to Canada. They would tell you about my concerned 88 year old grandmother who we talk to 2-3 times a week to talk to her youngest son, and her grandbabies (me and Roxane). You'd hear a gossipy little old lady talk with all the pride in her heart, about our pregnant cousin and our little cousins who are growing up so quickly. You'd get a sense of just how proud of a family we are.

And my bedroom...It would scream: PLEASE STOP SHOPPING! Your clothes are smothering the floor! In all seriousness, it might just say that. I would also tell me to stop being so damn self-depricating, and to stop pining after UK. Yup, I think I'm even capable of nauseating my walls with the thoughts that pass through my mind...

And so there you have it, if my walls could talk...

Blake

What would you do for $9.50/hour

Would you:
-Answer phones
-Fetch client drinks
-File paperwork
-Organize your boss' office
-Airbrush tan clients
-Deal with demanding clients
-Check out said demanding clients
-Answer e-mails
-Attend to an online database
-Wash & fold laundry
-Clean like an illegal immigrant

Would you?!

Cause apparently my boss, after 3 and a half years- thinks that this is what I'm worth.

I'm fresh out of words on this one, people.

My first Not Me Monday

I did NOT spend my first weekend being 21, being lame and staying in. I also did NOT get my hair dyed blonde, blow off my diet for the weekend, or ignore phone calls I did NOT want to answer. I did NOT spend the entire weekend eating cheese/dairy products and wallowing in self-pity because I missed talking to UK (who may or may not have spent the weekend with his ex-or-once-again-girlfriend). I have not wasted 2 hours of my precious employer's money/time on the internet this morning. No, certainly I would not do that! I also am NOT compusively checking my AIM account to see whether or not UK has signed on. I did NOT drunkenly set his photo as my background last week. Nah uh. Not me.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I refuse.

So I think I'm quitting

Quitting dating. Seriously? Two weeks on this stupid dating website and I have nothing to show for it. A couple phone numbers, a couple weak attempts from guys to have me send them pictures (ew!), and just a little extra boost for my ego. 19 Pages full of emails from potential dates, and 37 people who've added me on their 'favorite' list. Except all of these lovely suitors have yet to make any kind of impression on me. It's the same old story- the ones with the looks don't have the personality (or in some cases the brains) and the ones with the personality or brains, I'm simply not attracted to (or they treat me like a 5 year old).

So, I quit at dating. Why bother anyway? My prince will find me when the time comes. I think...

Birthday Week

Well, the birthday week is over. It ended with a weekend that was less eventful than I would've hoped. But that's ok. My best friend Blair & I gathered about 20 of our friends and are heading down to Atlantic City next weekend for a night of gambling, dancing, and of course drinking at Harrah's. Now THOSE are the pics you're going to want to see.

In other updates, I've been offered the full-time position as the Spa Coordinator. Since my boss decided she's going to sell the tanning salon, I decided that I'm going to take it- but she's going to have to pay me more. I'm filling my September, October, November, and December calendars with a strict work-school schedule so I can excel, get my GPA up, and make tons of money in preparation for FIT. Sounds thrilling, doesn't it?

I'm bored just thinking about it!

On a sidebar: I'm looking a weight-loss blogging buddy that's going to motivate me. Not sure how I'm going to decide to go ahead with this journey but I want to lose 20 pounds like, 2 months ago...I'm actually really bummed that I have yet to lose any and I have to appear at my big, official, 21st birthday debut looking the way I do. No matter. I need someone who's up for the challenge... Let me know.

So here are the photos, as promised:


Me + my 5 closest friends at the beach on my birthday


Myself & the Lovely Roxane


Me & some friends at the bar Tuesday night.


At the bar wednesday night (the night of Roxane's kareoke video)



And finally, my new hair color! Just freshly unveiled today! Thoughts?!

According to Crazy MOM

I'm an alcoholic and a whore. Do you guys remember "Jersey Gina" from a few months back? That's who Mom seems to think I am.

Now I'm trying really hard to understand where she gets this notion from. I think I sort of get it but not really. First of all I know I'm a good kid. Maybe a little bit of a pain in the ass, but I know I'm not much trouble. Here's a list of reasons she's mad at me this week. Gentle readers, keep in mind that I'm 21, not 12. I have a 3.7 GPA, work full-time, and take care of everything that I'm deemed responsible for.

So this week:
I turned 21.
12am on my birthday, one of my best friends from high school stopped by. He's a big college ball player now, so I rarely get to see him. We had a "thing" when we were younger- which didn't work out so well in the long run. We remained friends, and spent the early hours of my birthday catching up. We spent the last hour of his visit making out, which mom so discreetly walked in on. Here's what she saw: me, sitting next to him, wearing his hat, pulling away from a kiss. This is no big scandal here, people. She could've easily walked in on the same scene when I was a freshman in high school. Actually, it would've been worse in my high school era than now! According to my dad, this is the main reason she's pissed at me.


We went to hibachi for dinner, where Roxane and I shared a bottle of Chardonnay. We then headed to the bar where I proceeded to take somewhere between 6-8 shots, and a malibu bay breeze. Ok, maybe not the wisest choice...But tell me that you didn't get wild on your 21st birthhday- or that you don't at least know someone who did. The good news is, I made it out of the bar and safely home before I got sick. The bad news is, I basically threw up at my father's feet. Classy, I know. He took it like a champ, stuck in me in the shower and immediately ordered me to bed after.


Waking up the next morning...I can't even describe. First of all, I was beyond hung over status. Second of all, I could feel the hatred radiating from the basement where my parents were working. Ok fine, I deserve that for puking at Dad's feet the night before, and for only being able to say "PLEASE don't tell Mommy." If anything, my father had every right to be angry with me.

I've been out every night since then. Wednesday night, going out to the bar with Roxane...I decided to leave with my friends instead of leaving with Roxane... Which apparently pissed off crazy mom cause she decided to karate-chop my shoulder as I was walking out the door. I don't even know how to explain except I had to try SO hard not to hit her back. It's lucky she's my mother, because I would never tolerate anyone ever putting their hands on me.

Which leads us to today. I'll post pictures of the birthday bonanza soon.

Happy weekend, keep your fingers crossed for me that I won't endure any more karate chopping from crazy mom!

Blake

Blake's on hiatus!

As per usual, I am MIA during the week. I should blog more now that I'm working at the boring spa. The truth is, I am blogging... Just on a super-secret blog that not even my lovely sibling knows about. Why so secretive? Because it's not really a blog. So far, I have written 10 blog entries about my overseas not-so-love-affair. Why? You might ask. Because, I've always wanted to write a fiction novel, and dang it, I think it's a pretty good idea.

I'm sorry that I can't share :( I would but because it's happening to me, right now, at this very moment- it's very difficult for me to be open about it. You'd be surprised at how attached you can become to someone's personality, voice, and other things not counted in the physical. No matter how realistic it is. So more about this project... Not even UK is aware of me taking note of the words that we exchange. No one can know. I'm sharing my secret with you bloggety peeps, and I'm not even sure why. Maybe this is just my way of teasing you and making sure you'll buy the book someday when I publish it ;) It's written in letter form, from "me" to "him" and slightly embellished but completely and totally candid as to how I feel towards the situation. It's some of the most brutally honest and open things I've ever written. Hence, why it's so difficult to share. Who knows, I could be too chickensh*t to ever even really finish it. Not finishing it means I don't have to share it, which in turn means I dont have to be criticized, ridiculed, or with any luck at all, praised... But I see potential to capitalize here (I'd give him a cut of the money if it was substantial). How AWESOME would it be to write a book, publish, and sell it and barely be out of college?! Again, slightly unrealistic. But a girl can dream.

I've always wanted to write an autobiography. The truth is,
1) I'm not famous or rich therefore no one would care
2) I have a skewed view of my life
and
3) I think it would be entirely too dark & my family would resent me.

I know it may be hard to believe but I have a fairly gloom and doom view on my life- it's not how I want to be remembered. As I strive to be a better, sunnier person, and as I try to fight off my struggles, I'm trying to rewrite my future so it doesn't mirror my past. It takes a lot of effort, but I reallly am consciously trying to be a more positive person.

That being said, it's much easier to write a fiction based on something which ultimately has little or no bearing in my life. As opposed to writing what I wish I had the nerve to write.

Blake

Early Birthday Surprises

I love August... Especially this August because I finally turn 21!!! =D I can't wait to just have the freedom to go out with my friends and just grab a drink, unwind. Only 2 more days, for anyone following the countdown.

So today, I had a horrendous day at work. I was IM'ing back and forth with UK all day, and he knew I wasn't doing well. I was supposed to be off, and had to go in and deal with my boss' bratty 6 year old son... These things get on my nerve, especially after the late night conversations about his ex-but-soon-to-be-girlfriend-again that UK and I have. Sucks, but its a reality I have to deal with. He's not here, I'm not there- at best all we can be is friends. I want him to be happy, truly I do- but that doesn't make it an easy pill to swallow. It just hits too hard with all of the other realities- my two best friends are off to New York at the end of the month, the others I'm not that close with, and now I can't just have UK's undivided attention whenever I want. I have abandonment issues, people. I can't help that!


(The Flowers!)

Anyway. So what happened today turned my frown upside down. UK sent me flowers & a teddy bear at work today. The card read:
"To 'Blake', Here's your pick me up and early Birthday gift.
Keep Smiling!
-'UK'"


(Me and Burton the bear)


He got his wish. I kept smiling. I sent out picture mails, phone calls, and texts alerting the public- aka my friends- even my DAD who has no idea about this whole ordeal. This is the nicest thing someone has done for me in awhile! I dragged them on the bus and hiked a good 1/2 mile (if not more) home with the flowers so I wouldn't have to leave them at work. I did it all with a smile on my face. How could I not? When I received that- it didn't matter than he was halfway across the world, or that he isn't going to be as available to me in the future as he is now. All that mattered is that in that moment, I knew he cared just as much as I did.

If only I could find the American version of him...

Try Not to Judge

Disclaimer: Roxane, I love you and I'm sorry this is how you have to find out (cause I normally tell you everything). Don't worry, it's not THAT scandalous. Read on.

Two months ago, I received a phone call at work. A guy with a seriously sexy British accent...But I blew him off at first, thinking he was one of my regular telemarketers. I'm not sure how or when it happened but during the course of that conversation (once I got past the idea that I thought he was trying to solicit something) this potential customer and I made a serious connection.

He told me he was going to be visiting for business in New Jersey, in my town. Weird, but I took it for what it was- and before you know it we were talking about everything- differences between the UK and the US, our jobs, hobbies, etc. When I asked him what he did for a living, he hesitated. He then said he produced adult movies. Naively enough, I thought he meant behind the camera. But, he didnt- he's in front of it. Who knows why I didn't just stop there? I mean let's be real, I'm probably the prudest soon-to-be 21 year old girl you'll meet right now. Seriously. Talk about polar opposites!

That was a month and a half ago, at the end of June. Something happened at work, and the plans for a visit fell thru. We still talk, and now I find myself looking forward to the conversations more and more. The thing is, I know how cautious you have to be- for all I know he could be some creepy stalker. But I truly believe this was just plain dumb luck- I just happened to hit it off with someone who called the store where I work.

The weird thing is, even though he's half a world away in England, the closeness is starting to bother me...Not in a nuisance sort of way, but in the kind of way that "no good can come of this." Which is a terrible thing to say. At the very least he's a pleasant person to talk to, someone who doesn't judge me, and someone who can appreciate me for exactly who I am.

So, I decided to prove to myself that he can't be the only one who would be pleasant to talk to, non-judgemental, and appreciative...I signed up on plentyoffish.com yesterday and now have 5 pages full of guys who want to be appreciative of me. Which ironically, only made me feel worse.

See the thing about UK (his new nickname for u bloggy peeps) is that I know he takes a part out of his day specifically to talk to me- whether its a phone call (I don't want to know how many phone cards he's been thru), or an IM, whatever it might be. He gets crap from his friends because he never used to sit on the phone, or on the computer,and they even have a nickname for me because they think I'm illegal- as in underage- haha, if they only knew! The bottom line is, as pathetic as it is- he makes me feel (CORNY ALERT) really special.

I'm just hoping I can find someone just as special who makes me feel the same--- preferably on the same continent at this rate!!!

Like I said, try not to judge.