Friday, August 14, 2009

According to Crazy MOM

I'm an alcoholic and a whore. Do you guys remember "Jersey Gina" from a few months back? That's who Mom seems to think I am.

Now I'm trying really hard to understand where she gets this notion from. I think I sort of get it but not really. First of all I know I'm a good kid. Maybe a little bit of a pain in the ass, but I know I'm not much trouble. Here's a list of reasons she's mad at me this week. Gentle readers, keep in mind that I'm 21, not 12. I have a 3.7 GPA, work full-time, and take care of everything that I'm deemed responsible for.

So this week:
I turned 21.
12am on my birthday, one of my best friends from high school stopped by. He's a big college ball player now, so I rarely get to see him. We had a "thing" when we were younger- which didn't work out so well in the long run. We remained friends, and spent the early hours of my birthday catching up. We spent the last hour of his visit making out, which mom so discreetly walked in on. Here's what she saw: me, sitting next to him, wearing his hat, pulling away from a kiss. This is no big scandal here, people. She could've easily walked in on the same scene when I was a freshman in high school. Actually, it would've been worse in my high school era than now! According to my dad, this is the main reason she's pissed at me.

We went to hibachi for dinner, where Roxane and I shared a bottle of Chardonnay. We then headed to the bar where I proceeded to take somewhere between 6-8 shots, and a malibu bay breeze. Ok, maybe not the wisest choice...But tell me that you didn't get wild on your 21st birthhday- or that you don't at least know someone who did. The good news is, I made it out of the bar and safely home before I got sick. The bad news is, I basically threw up at my father's feet. Classy, I know. He took it like a champ, stuck in me in the shower and immediately ordered me to bed after.

Waking up the next morning...I can't even describe. First of all, I was beyond hung over status. Second of all, I could feel the hatred radiating from the basement where my parents were working. Ok fine, I deserve that for puking at Dad's feet the night before, and for only being able to say "PLEASE don't tell Mommy." If anything, my father had every right to be angry with me.

I've been out every night since then. Wednesday night, going out to the bar with Roxane...I decided to leave with my friends instead of leaving with Roxane... Which apparently pissed off crazy mom cause she decided to karate-chop my shoulder as I was walking out the door. I don't even know how to explain except I had to try SO hard not to hit her back. It's lucky she's my mother, because I would never tolerate anyone ever putting their hands on me.

Which leads us to today. I'll post pictures of the birthday bonanza soon.

Happy weekend, keep your fingers crossed for me that I won't endure any more karate chopping from crazy mom!


1 comment:

  1. Can't wait to see the bday pics!!!

    And, how'd your mom these days? Treating you better? :o)


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