Monday, March 9, 2009

Early Tuesday

Today, I'm going to prove myself my own strength. Sometimes, not answering that phone call (and letting silence speak for you) is easier than going "Jersey Gina" on someone and telling them how you really feel. Sometimes, you have to find solace in knowing that silencing that ring tone is really the only thing you can do about it.
If you've been following me at all, you might guess this is about Crooks, who has now been renamed as Sh*thead Jerk*ff in my phone. He texted me at 10:33pm saying
"Mama what u doin" to which I did not respond. He also called at 12:05am. No voicemail. Good, I don't have to hear his voice. He has no idea that I know what I know. He might never find out. I want to say something, but where does one even begin, if at all? I'm so tempted to give him the opportunity to come clean. Mostly because I never did the last time this happened. He could either surprise me, and tell the truth, or he could just disappoint me all over again. For someone who's been so concerned about not wanting me out of his life for another 2 years, he's sure done a lot to keep me at bay. It's so funny how history repeats itself. Rumors tore us apart back then, am I wrong for letting them tear us apart now? Is it wrong if I don't give him the opportunity to come clean? But I mean for what? More lies? For him to dig deeper, and make a bigger fool of me? Lies. Lies, of all things. The only thing that's worse than lying is abandonment. How could he? Just, how?
Anyone who knows me personally knows how hard it was not to answer that phone call, not to respond to that text. I'm so tempted to change my phone number. The naive Blake on the inside wants to believe that there is good in everyone. My mind is begging me to be rational and my heart is practically jumping out of my chest.
Some day I'll learn. I'm not the exception to the rule, I am the rule.

Bloggy readers, what would you do?


1 comment:

  1. well there are 3 scenarios:

    1) You confront him about being a liar and let him explain why he did this and he might tell you the truth. Then you have to decided weather you'll keep talking to him.

    2) You talk to him and ask him more questions about what he does and things like that(things that he already told you)then if he keeps lying you tell him that you know. Or he might just tell you the truth because he senses that you already know. so you decide weather to still talk to him. and wondered if the said the truth because he was on the spot or he trully felt sorry.

    3) you don't talk to him ever again. If you opt for this one, he might call you to tell you the truth because he knows that that might be the reason you don't want to have anything to do with him (cause he knows that u know). well, you either talk to him again so he can explain himself or just cut all ties with him and wonder why he lied to you.but then again he might lie to you again.

    Its a tough call.


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