Schemin'

I fly like paper
Get high like planes
If you catch me at the border
I got visas in my name


Well, for any Hova fans out there, you'll know what I mean when I say I'm schemin'. For those of you who are unaware, or justdon't share my appreciation of gangsta rap, here's the urbandictionary definition:

schemin':the act of planning or plotting; devising in an overt or covert manner

Used in a sentence:"Stop schemin' and lookin' hard."

So, what exactly am I up to? Well, since Daddy came home, my mind's been on overdrive. Where to go next? What to do next? It's almost as exciting as it is anxiety-causing. First things first: I'm not graduating this May. I'll have to go back to school in September regardless. Second: Do I apply for an unpaid internship and give up the money I could be making? OR Do I give up just one month at work (as opposed to May-Sept as in intern) to get my identity back in Canada. Hmm, so many options and the time nears for a decision to be made. It could go any which way, but I can practically taste the freedom.

Scenario #1: I apply and am given an internship. This means I'd be working full-time, 5 days a week, at THE biggest fashion publication on the shelves right now. This isn't your average Marie Claire or Elle. This is WWD. The opportunities would be endless---if I was American. As much as I can't afford to lose out on the opportunity to connect with people in my industry I also can't afford to lose $400/wk. Or maybe I can deal without the astronomical tuition payments next semester. Even if they loved me, I don't know if they could get me papers to get me legal. BIG problem. I don't really feel like I have any more time to waste, and I certainly wouldn't want to piss them off because they think I'm a shady immigrant folk.

Scenario #2: I spend a month in Canada and get my papers taken care of. I'd go get my license, social security, health care, etc. Then I come home...With a car, a license, and a little thing called freedom. My own version, anyway. End of story. Free at last, free at last. Oh, right ---except for that whole re-entering illegally thing (which I've never done).

Scenario #3: I stay home this summer, and do the same thing I've always done. I'll just get more frustrated with having the same results I've always had.

Doesn't leave much room for decisions to be made but...What would YOU do? What would you do if you couldn't work, drive, go to school, and live your life- because of a stupid piece of paper. What would you do if you woke up tomorrow and realized that your home, the place where you grew up and lived almost your whole life, is the very place that you're not welcome?

What would you do?